so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
