remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
