whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
