i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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