"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
