please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
