Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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