God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
