Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
