I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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