ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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