Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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