i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
