The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize