forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
