But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
