Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
