he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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