can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
