Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
