i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I love having hate sex.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
