So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
