Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You made out with two different species that night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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