everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
