I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
