hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
