He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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