he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
