Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
