I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
