she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
