Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
