Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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