Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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