So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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