I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
