are you so shy because you have an std?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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