Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
