do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
