you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
