Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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