hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
