New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
