I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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