I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize