im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
