you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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