I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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