Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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