if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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