Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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