Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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