The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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