So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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