drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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