i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
