haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
