I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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