I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize